four of hearts

living my life
has become surreal
hip by hip
foddering
the motion of insistence
airing out
the dirty laundry
and
watered down
realities
the ides of sheets
being followed
in the eye
of jealousy
twisted knife
in back
tell yourself
what you need
to stay on track
believe
the blame
because my
words
have always
been the same
now we are
neither
fools
and the past
has always been
disposable
how many times
you tried
goodbye
and now
it rests on me
ironic
how she's not so
silently
afterall
mouthfuls of muck
a trailer full
of twine
a lifetime
gone at a slight
penance
or vengeance
cough
smear it to
the universe
raise it up
like a revolving door
tug of war
the blood sport
of back and forth
will messy beginnings
make messy ends
when one grows
tired
of beating dead horses
on the continuous mend
when it comes
to this
ignorance
is bliss
and
sometimes
repetition is discipline
but
business changes
and we
fall the fall
of the bats mouth
angels on the sidelines
my life a series
of getting over it
oh sloppy joe
how you like dirty hands
desperation breeds opportunity
riddled with intention
regurgitating my heart strings
to fit your
broken ideologies
fairytale fantasies
don't shoot that
thing at me
fathoming the
dark lonely
half jack
and he says
you make a better door
than a window
equivocal disregard
branching in
instead of out
on the rebound
invest in happiness
at what price
what's the cost
of "love"
no swan songs needed
just caution heeded
i've been friends with
11:11 and
you can insanely expect
but don't hold your breath
tossing stones around
my arms
are weak
i lean towards
a closed book
a dusty nook
the last bus tonight
hartline
crossed fingers
on the upswing of
death
i do not rest
in suicide lies
stabbing societys
trusty eye
from the
line in the sand
free my mind & find my way
declare independence
because i take care
of me
and i don't share
it well
another discarded
shell
bankrupt of
possibility
instead
make new memories
letting the sacred
remain
in chosen days
love is eternal
but you move on
smearing it into
the white light of
dissolve