chimera

is there really heaven
in those china whites
how much money
to buy the sky

silent fights
in our battle boxed cars
competing for the roadways
as we do careers
willing to sacrifce so much
just to be one up

the world exists
through a windshield
and i wonder if
we will ever heal
from this exhausted mess

i doubt it

the size of cars
will grow with egos
along with the paralyzed
perceptions of success

narrow minded clowns
going from one
red light to the next
looking for the green
call it civil unrest
each individual
wants to be the best
regardless of the mean

narrow minded clowns
have penetrated every town
the American dream
is just another trophy

what happens to
stand-ins who just play the game
what happens to those who see
fabricated securities are insane

we will be looking at the stars
and feeling the night air
while the others are hypnotized
by the television's enticing glare

it is better to be apathetic
because everything means less,
hurts less
leaving the truth
as you do the pew

filling the folly
with illusive ideologies
choking on the cold hard cash
while thinking about saving your own ass

always improving
nothing is ever good enough

more
more
more
more
bigger
better
faster
longer
harder
smarter
stronger


the weak souls will never be appeased
because the insitutions
have brought them to their knees
this is the true poverty
of the 21st century bourgeois

collecting this and that
for external validation
cluttering the earth
to feel worth
but a greedy mind
can never be satisfied

so the rest of us watch
as the welcome mat is
rolled out for the Rapture

I just have to know when
It is coming
so I can get my hair done
and make sure I have my makeup on

fire

"it starts in my heart when i reach that place"

feeling
&
feeling

not knowing

fault lines

doubt

-the devil surrounds-

the idea of home
taunts me

my waking disease=everybody

how can i be so selfish?

shoulda been a shellfish

"the rain comes down while the sun is shining"


who fixes the mind machine?
mine's gone solo

so low

i want to touch
to taste
to see
to feel
to be everything

i don't want to forget
i don't want to ever be above
to be numb
to fall into the grey
sliding slope of success

there is always more
something else to uncover

i know my numbers mean something

i am so scared that i'm going to fail


i hate being the trigger of the gun
that makes people want
(they have the powder first)

i don't want to waste away
i
don't
want
to
waste

but i am the
21st century hypocrite

we will all burn

the question is
what we can muster
in our measly little lives
before it is all ash

before it is all
past tense

words gone from the lip
from the tip

sometimes i want the lighter fluid

sometimes i don't care

sometimes it wells up in me

that i can't breathe

that i am not my own being

i have become with
of
because
i can

how long can we survive in the concrete jungle

what will replace the rainbow?


on the search for peace
on the search for peace

silently she can't rest
until she knows she done her best

fossil

the nautilus guiding me
250 million years
round my neck

it's spirit has
penetrated my chest
and inserted unrest

my heart wants to roam
my mind wants to dream
my hands hold the key

still so much to learn
so much to explore
at barely 24

these are the days
i will never get back

these are the days
where i can't slack

set aside the green
make room for the red

rabbit holes all
through my head

spiraling

the nautilus guiding me
250 million years
round my neck

eras
of
living
history

time
makes me question

what really matters to me

and i am learning
it goes far beyond
the physical body

what really matters to me

is that at 70
i will be proud
of myself

knowing

i did what i thought best

that i

took advantage
of living

instead of

decaying in the
Wasteland
of after thoughts

just another

life stories go untold

we let beauty slip through

our hands & hearts

smoke from a cigar
money in a jar

how far will life take you if you let it?

will you weigh

or float?

censor or hope?

smile or hide?


in matters of the heart we must question

everything

armor

save
or
sting


can i be found today...
and lost tomorrow?

I'm not so blind to see

1:07 or 3:00 a.m.

which is the real witching hour?

demons eh?

why do I get chills
when i don't believe?

or do i?

this body lives with my actions
and will die with them

shall i preserve
for an inevitable return to the Earth?

or have faith that
constant cleansing
will satisfy my soul?


tomorrow will forever be untold

today is gold